Okay, so thinking isn't really a weak point for me. It use to be. But lately I've been thinking way too much. Now I realize I worry as much as my mom. What do I have to worry about? Life is good. A have an amazing girlfriend. I'm actually getting good grades this year. I've been sober. Been reading. Been writing songs. But still I worry. Mostly about my girlfriend. We're both happy but I still worry. Belinda really fucked me up. She cheated, got high behind my back, she lied, she never took my advice, and all that bullshit. Gina always compared me to other people. But Casey is so perfect, I'm just afraid it's too good to be true. I'm afraid she's flirting with guys online and shit. I'm afraid she's gonna get drunk some night at a party and make out with some guy. I'm afraid she has feelings for her ex's or some other guy. I'm afraid that she's not completely happy. I want to be the best I can for her. I want to be the only guy she'll ever need. I love her more than anything in the world. And I'm afraid I'm not good enough for her. She's the most beautiful, amazing girl I've ever met. She is the only girl that I ever need in my life. She means the world to me. And if I ever lost her...I can't even imagine what would happen to me. I think I'd be more heartbroken than she would. I hope that I mean as much to her as she does to me. The 25th is our 2 month and I couldn't be happier. I just wish I had a job so I could have more money so I could get her something amazing. But sadly I don't have any money to get her anything so I'm just working with what I've got. I'm gonna give her a ring that I found in my sister's old room, a mix cd, and a hand written letter to her confessing my eternal love for her lol. Well, anyways yeah...

location: On a ferris wheel mood: lonely music: My Sacrifice - Creed tags: 82508, casey, love, sean

It has been over a month now, since I finished reading Cat's Cradle. Now that I look back on that book, my thoughts have changed. At first I  hated it with a burning passion but now I realize it was a good book. It took a while to sink in. I'm sorry that i thought so negatively of that book. But I just recently finished a book called Rats Saw God. It had a much more positive impact on me when I finished. A feeling of satisfaction, really. That's what I look for in books. That satisfaction of finishing. Cat's Cradle didn't that satisfaction. But now I feel it, I feel the satisfaction of finishing it.

location: in my head mood: mellow music: Time Can Be A Healer By Myles Dyer & NSG tags: apology, bullshit, cats cradle, one month

10. Bring The Noise - Anthrax & Public Enemy
9. Semi-Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind
8. Man In The Box - Alice In Chains
7. Fly Away - Lenny Kravitz
6. Jumper - Third Eye Blind
5. I Get Knocked Down - Chumbawumba
4. Rape Me - Nirvana
3. Come As You Are - Nirvana
2. Never Let You Go - Third Eye Blind
1. Fly - Sugar Ray

location: My room. mood: content music: Mad World - Gary Jules tags: 90's music, top 10

Cat's Cradle was the biggest collection of bullshit I've ever read.
I hated it with a burning passion.
Although I despise this book with all my heart and soul I must say,
it was better than 'The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Nighttime'
and there was one concept that I found quite interesting...
A cat's cradle is the perfect example of the meaninglessness of everything...
A cat's cradle is just X's of string between a person's fingers...
Is there a cat? nope. Is there a cradle? nope.
The meaninglessness of it all.

location: My room. mood: blank music: Losin' You - John Butler Trio tags: bullshit, cat's cradle, meaninglessness

    I thought, as a change for the new school year, I would switch from Xanga to Live Journal. So here I am. It's the last official day of summer and the first official schoolnight. 

location: My room. mood: blank music: Groovin' Slowly - John Butler Trio tags: augy, first post, first schoolnight, last day of summer